6. If they offered me a place on a space mission to explore new planets, I'm gone. No doubt, no hesitation. I won't even pack. I'll buy it when I get there.
Seriously, how could you not do this? The adventure of it, not knowing what's out there? Even the danger involved. I'm there. Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of America, and an even bigger fan of the Earth. This is my home. I like it. But I'm gone.
There's too much out there, too much unknown, to much to discover and too much to explore. I wouldn't even stop to pack. I'll get it when I get there. From some alien convenience store.
There's not really a lot I can say about this one. Either you're in, or you're out. You want to make the trip, or you're staying at home. Simple.
The only drawback would be having to leave Neeve, and I'm not sure I could do that. So it might have to be when she is older and has her own life going on. Or maybe she can go with me.
We'll figure it out. But somehow, someday, someway, I'm going.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
More on driving over here
As I've said in the past, I won't be critical of the United Kingdom, as Neeve was born and is being raised here. She's British (and American), but being raised as a Brit. I'm not going to be derogatory, make fun, or ridicule the country, the people or the customs. The government is a different issue however; as it is always appropriate to ridicule the government.
The one thing that has irritated me the most here (beyond Immigration) is the issue of car insurance. I recently bought a car. An old, 1999, piece-of-shit, Ford Mondeo Estate (station wagon). It cost me £350 ($600). It’s probably the most expensive thing I own right now, but it's still just an old beater.
In my life, I've driven in the United States, Canada, South Korea, the United Kingdom, Latvia (the worst country in Europe for driving), Lithuania, Germany, Turkey, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, South Africa and Angola (it has to be experienced to be believed). A variety of countries, many of them not known for their special skills on the road. But I've spent 30 years driving in those countries, without an accident of any kind, and haven't had a ticket in 20 years. I've only had 3 total, and they all came in an 18-month period after I left the autobahns of Germany.
Now, to my way of thinking, the United States is a developed country, and you don't just get handed a driver's license. There are written and driving tests required, insurance is mandatory, and the police are all over the place. There are strict rules and procedures for driving. This isn't like some other countries, where, although a licenses and insurance are required, the lack of either can be handled with a $20 to the police. No, there are standards, and records that cover the driving period, document all accidents and tickets, and a standardized system for tracking all of this.
So what is my problem, you might wonder? The United Kingdom refuses to recognize this. I can't receive my U.K. driver's license as a transfer from my U.S. license. And I'm not happy.
There are four categories of licenses available in the U.K.:
Full - just like what you get in the states
Provisional - a temporary license for people like me until we pass a written and driving test to get a full license
International - one of those paper licenses you get at AAA for $10, and gives you a year of driving anywhere in the world
Learners - a restricted license for people learning to drive
But if I came from one of the following countries, I could exchange my license with no problem:
Australia
Barbados
British Virgin Islands
Canada
Falkland Islands
Faroe Islands*
Hong Kong
Japan
Monaco
New Zealand
Republic of Korea*
Singapore
South Africa
Switzerland
Zimbabwe
Now I realize that a lot of those are Commonwealth countries, but Japan? South Korea? Monaco!!!?
Really.
So I need to get a provisional license, and have to take a written and driving test. As far as they are concerned, my U.S. license carries no more weight than one from Angola or Iraq would carry.
So you'll know why I'm bitching, this is not just the inconvenience of having to take the tests. I think its silly, but I can deal with that. No, it goes much deeper than that.
Insurance on a full license - £54 ($90) per month
Insurance on a provisional license - £111 ($170) per month
See the issue. I'm getting screwed. My driving isn't considered good enough to warrant a lower rate, but people from other countries from throughout the world can come to the U.K. and exchange their licenses. For the simple reason that there has been a governmental agreement between the two. It doesn't matter what the standard, or what the background of the driver is. Just what is on the cover of the their passport.
They get a full U.K. license. And cheap insurance. Meanwhile, I've been driving for 30 years with no accidents and tickets against my record, in a country with some of the highest standards in the world, and I'm a substandard driver.
To be fair, I don't know what the procedure for Brits moving to the states is, so this could be the fault of the United Stats also. But maybe not. But the U.K. doesn't have to do it. They just are.
The one thing that has irritated me the most here (beyond Immigration) is the issue of car insurance. I recently bought a car. An old, 1999, piece-of-shit, Ford Mondeo Estate (station wagon). It cost me £350 ($600). It’s probably the most expensive thing I own right now, but it's still just an old beater.
In my life, I've driven in the United States, Canada, South Korea, the United Kingdom, Latvia (the worst country in Europe for driving), Lithuania, Germany, Turkey, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, South Africa and Angola (it has to be experienced to be believed). A variety of countries, many of them not known for their special skills on the road. But I've spent 30 years driving in those countries, without an accident of any kind, and haven't had a ticket in 20 years. I've only had 3 total, and they all came in an 18-month period after I left the autobahns of Germany.
Now, to my way of thinking, the United States is a developed country, and you don't just get handed a driver's license. There are written and driving tests required, insurance is mandatory, and the police are all over the place. There are strict rules and procedures for driving. This isn't like some other countries, where, although a licenses and insurance are required, the lack of either can be handled with a $20 to the police. No, there are standards, and records that cover the driving period, document all accidents and tickets, and a standardized system for tracking all of this.
So what is my problem, you might wonder? The United Kingdom refuses to recognize this. I can't receive my U.K. driver's license as a transfer from my U.S. license. And I'm not happy.
There are four categories of licenses available in the U.K.:
Full - just like what you get in the states
Provisional - a temporary license for people like me until we pass a written and driving test to get a full license
International - one of those paper licenses you get at AAA for $10, and gives you a year of driving anywhere in the world
Learners - a restricted license for people learning to drive
But if I came from one of the following countries, I could exchange my license with no problem:
Australia
Barbados
British Virgin Islands
Canada
Falkland Islands
Faroe Islands*
Hong Kong
Japan
Monaco
New Zealand
Republic of Korea*
Singapore
South Africa
Switzerland
Zimbabwe
Now I realize that a lot of those are Commonwealth countries, but Japan? South Korea? Monaco!!!?
Really.
So I need to get a provisional license, and have to take a written and driving test. As far as they are concerned, my U.S. license carries no more weight than one from Angola or Iraq would carry.
So you'll know why I'm bitching, this is not just the inconvenience of having to take the tests. I think its silly, but I can deal with that. No, it goes much deeper than that.
Insurance on a full license - £54 ($90) per month
Insurance on a provisional license - £111 ($170) per month
See the issue. I'm getting screwed. My driving isn't considered good enough to warrant a lower rate, but people from other countries from throughout the world can come to the U.K. and exchange their licenses. For the simple reason that there has been a governmental agreement between the two. It doesn't matter what the standard, or what the background of the driver is. Just what is on the cover of the their passport.
They get a full U.K. license. And cheap insurance. Meanwhile, I've been driving for 30 years with no accidents and tickets against my record, in a country with some of the highest standards in the world, and I'm a substandard driver.
To be fair, I don't know what the procedure for Brits moving to the states is, so this could be the fault of the United Stats also. But maybe not. But the U.K. doesn't have to do it. They just are.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The political process
General elections are coming soon, and will be held on May 9th. The campaign season has begun. Who is elected concerns me, as I live here now. Particularly since immigration is the second biggest issue in the election, behind the economy. As an immigrant myself, I'm curious and wondering. As a permanent resident, I don't get to vote, as I'm not a citizen. Same system as in the states. I can't run for office, either. Maybe one day, if I decide to take citizenship. We'll see how it goes, and if they decide to let immigrants stay.
What I don't agree with is the fact that other residents and non-citizens do get to vote. If a citizen of a European Union country moves to the U.K., they are allowed to vote in all elections, except national parliamentary elections. So they can vote for local councilors, mayors, etc; just not Ministers of Parliament. I don't have a problem with them getting to do that. In fact, it's actually a good idea, to my way of thinking. The residents of the E.U. nations live here, shop here, spend money here, send their kids to school here, and pay taxes here. They are settled, a part of the community, and should get to vote.
The issue I have is that I do all of the same things, especially pay taxes, and I'm not allowed to vote. That hardly seems fair to me, after all, if other immigrants get to vote, why shouldn't I? I know its one of those E.U. things, which is ruining Europe, but it would seem to be a matter of discrimination to me. One group gets to do something based on where they are from, but another doesn't get to do the same thing based on where they are from? People from Bulgaria, a country known for it's democratic values, get to vote for mayor, but I don't?
I know this is beating a dead horse, and no one is going to listen to me. But this is one thing I don't like. Just seems wrong that I don't get a say in how much my water bill is. Wow, taxation without representation. Nah, just kidding.
What I don't agree with is the fact that other residents and non-citizens do get to vote. If a citizen of a European Union country moves to the U.K., they are allowed to vote in all elections, except national parliamentary elections. So they can vote for local councilors, mayors, etc; just not Ministers of Parliament. I don't have a problem with them getting to do that. In fact, it's actually a good idea, to my way of thinking. The residents of the E.U. nations live here, shop here, spend money here, send their kids to school here, and pay taxes here. They are settled, a part of the community, and should get to vote.
The issue I have is that I do all of the same things, especially pay taxes, and I'm not allowed to vote. That hardly seems fair to me, after all, if other immigrants get to vote, why shouldn't I? I know its one of those E.U. things, which is ruining Europe, but it would seem to be a matter of discrimination to me. One group gets to do something based on where they are from, but another doesn't get to do the same thing based on where they are from? People from Bulgaria, a country known for it's democratic values, get to vote for mayor, but I don't?
I know this is beating a dead horse, and no one is going to listen to me. But this is one thing I don't like. Just seems wrong that I don't get a say in how much my water bill is. Wow, taxation without representation. Nah, just kidding.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Saving our dough
Sunday, Easter Sunday that is, I was going to go do my grocery shopping for the month. No particular reason for that day, just needed to get it done. After all, my days kind of all run together, so which day I do my errands isn't really important. So I got to the shopping center, and to my surprise, all the stores were closed. I was kind of confused, but couldn't do much about it, so I headed home. Most of the way convenience stores, restaurants and pubs were open as usual, but as I drove back, I noticed all the big stores were closed along the way. Imagine Wal-Mart and all the malls being closed on the Sunday of a 4-day weekend. Hard to imagine, isn't it?
I mentioned it to a co-worker that night, and he told me something that surprised me a little. Actually, a lot. They were all closed because it's the law. Based on religion, which happens, but still seems strange. Much like the United States, the United Kingdom used to have 'blue laws'. Essentially, stores couldn't be open on Sunday because it was the Sabbath. The only place to spend your money was the collection plate. For a country where only 10% of the population attends church and religion isn't all that important, the church still has a lot of power.
Remember, it is a state church, and the head of the church, the Archbishop of Canterbury, is appointed by the monarch, even though it is really the Prime Minister. That's the Church of England, for those that don't know. The Anglican Church as its known around the world, and the Episcopal Church in the states. Yep, England's answer to Catholicism. According to my co-worker, the law was changed awhile back to allow big stores to stay open on Sundays, but with the agreement that they would be closed on Easter. Convenience stores, restaurants, and pubs, which had always been open on Sundays, were exempt form this. So eating and drinking is allowed, but not buying stuff. I guess I'm okay with that, fundamentally speaking.
I don't remember this from last year, although I was here. I wasn't working at the time, and hadn't been for 5 months. I didn't have the money to go shopping, regardless of whether or not the stores were open. I had been here a few times in April before, but not on Easter. So a new thing for me, entirely. As stated many times, this isn't meant to be an insult, but informative. I remember living in Georgia in the mid-'80's and not being able to buy beer on a Sunday. Even worse, when I was forced to live in Kansas in 2005, you still couldn't buy beer on a Sunday there, either. You could drive to a bar, drink there, and drive home, but not buy it a store and take it home to drink.
So in two different countries, one with a state church, and one with separation of church and state, some of the same archaic religious traditions still dominate, and saving you soul trumps saving your dough.
I mentioned it to a co-worker that night, and he told me something that surprised me a little. Actually, a lot. They were all closed because it's the law. Based on religion, which happens, but still seems strange. Much like the United States, the United Kingdom used to have 'blue laws'. Essentially, stores couldn't be open on Sunday because it was the Sabbath. The only place to spend your money was the collection plate. For a country where only 10% of the population attends church and religion isn't all that important, the church still has a lot of power.
Remember, it is a state church, and the head of the church, the Archbishop of Canterbury, is appointed by the monarch, even though it is really the Prime Minister. That's the Church of England, for those that don't know. The Anglican Church as its known around the world, and the Episcopal Church in the states. Yep, England's answer to Catholicism. According to my co-worker, the law was changed awhile back to allow big stores to stay open on Sundays, but with the agreement that they would be closed on Easter. Convenience stores, restaurants, and pubs, which had always been open on Sundays, were exempt form this. So eating and drinking is allowed, but not buying stuff. I guess I'm okay with that, fundamentally speaking.
I don't remember this from last year, although I was here. I wasn't working at the time, and hadn't been for 5 months. I didn't have the money to go shopping, regardless of whether or not the stores were open. I had been here a few times in April before, but not on Easter. So a new thing for me, entirely. As stated many times, this isn't meant to be an insult, but informative. I remember living in Georgia in the mid-'80's and not being able to buy beer on a Sunday. Even worse, when I was forced to live in Kansas in 2005, you still couldn't buy beer on a Sunday there, either. You could drive to a bar, drink there, and drive home, but not buy it a store and take it home to drink.
So in two different countries, one with a state church, and one with separation of church and state, some of the same archaic religious traditions still dominate, and saving you soul trumps saving your dough.
Friday, April 2, 2010
25 Random Things: # 5
5. Beer, pizza, ice cream, buttermilk biscuits. I believe that pretty much says it all.
Nothing really a lot to say about this one. But I'll try.
1. Beer - considering I didn't drink until I was a sophomore in college, and didn't really start drinking until a year later, this was surprising to me. I never thought I would be a big drinker. My friends I hung with in school didn't drink, so I didn't. I didn't have a problem with drinking, or those who did. I just didn't do it myself.
My sophomore year in college, our school's men and women's basketball teams won the national championships. While the playoffs were going on, we started going to all the games. And then going out to the bars afterwards to celebrate. It was fun, and the start of something.
So, since then I've drank more than any person should. I used to work in a liquor store, and people would ask me what I drank. I would just point to the shelf behind me and tell them to pick something, because I used to drink it. A lot of tequila and whiskey, as well as the beer. And schnapps. Man, I love me some schnapps.
But those days are over with. Now it's just beer on occasion, as I'm hardly drinking at all (working nights will do that) and some whiskey once in awhile. Of course, not having any money really cuts down on that also.
2. Ice cream - I love it. Vanilla, mostly. Some chocolate chip every once in awhile. But mostly vanilla, with some chocolate sauce on it. Or even better, some butterscotch. Man, I love vanilla ice cream with butterscotch.
For those of you reading previously, you'll know that Neeve loves ice cream too. It must be a genetic thing. She likes strawberry, which is a good choice, but it's not vanilla. And vanilla shakes. Those are good too.
The best ice cream I've ever had was in Amsterdam, which, oddly, is not known for its ice cream. If you stand in Dam Square, and look at the palace, just to the right of it is a little alleyway. Between the palace and the Rembrandt museum. If you go down that alleyway about 25 yards in, on the left side, there's a little shop about the size of a walk-in closet. I don't know if it's still there or not, as I haven't been in a few years. I hope it is. Now that I'm legal, I need to take a road trip.
3. Buttermilk biscuits - what can I say, its the country in me. Since I can remember, I've loved biscuits. I can't get enough of them. I'm not talking English biscuits, which are cookies. I'm talking scones, but so much more than that. Get them hot out of the oven, slap a pound of butter on them, and that's a meal for a king.
In fact, that is my breakfast a lot of time. A bunch of biscuits and nothing else. Of course, my cholesterol is up, but I don't care. I'm not missing out on my biscuits. Slap some gravy on them for biscuits and gravy, some hot coffee, and I'm in redneck heaven. I could eat biscuits 3 meals a day, and have them for a snack in between.
Those are my three staples of life. Those are my 5 food groups: beer, ice cream, butterscotch sauce, biscuits and butter. I'm not healthy, but I'm happy. Are you with your crap vegetarian diet?
Nothing really a lot to say about this one. But I'll try.
1. Beer - considering I didn't drink until I was a sophomore in college, and didn't really start drinking until a year later, this was surprising to me. I never thought I would be a big drinker. My friends I hung with in school didn't drink, so I didn't. I didn't have a problem with drinking, or those who did. I just didn't do it myself.
My sophomore year in college, our school's men and women's basketball teams won the national championships. While the playoffs were going on, we started going to all the games. And then going out to the bars afterwards to celebrate. It was fun, and the start of something.
So, since then I've drank more than any person should. I used to work in a liquor store, and people would ask me what I drank. I would just point to the shelf behind me and tell them to pick something, because I used to drink it. A lot of tequila and whiskey, as well as the beer. And schnapps. Man, I love me some schnapps.
But those days are over with. Now it's just beer on occasion, as I'm hardly drinking at all (working nights will do that) and some whiskey once in awhile. Of course, not having any money really cuts down on that also.
2. Ice cream - I love it. Vanilla, mostly. Some chocolate chip every once in awhile. But mostly vanilla, with some chocolate sauce on it. Or even better, some butterscotch. Man, I love vanilla ice cream with butterscotch.
For those of you reading previously, you'll know that Neeve loves ice cream too. It must be a genetic thing. She likes strawberry, which is a good choice, but it's not vanilla. And vanilla shakes. Those are good too.
The best ice cream I've ever had was in Amsterdam, which, oddly, is not known for its ice cream. If you stand in Dam Square, and look at the palace, just to the right of it is a little alleyway. Between the palace and the Rembrandt museum. If you go down that alleyway about 25 yards in, on the left side, there's a little shop about the size of a walk-in closet. I don't know if it's still there or not, as I haven't been in a few years. I hope it is. Now that I'm legal, I need to take a road trip.
3. Buttermilk biscuits - what can I say, its the country in me. Since I can remember, I've loved biscuits. I can't get enough of them. I'm not talking English biscuits, which are cookies. I'm talking scones, but so much more than that. Get them hot out of the oven, slap a pound of butter on them, and that's a meal for a king.
In fact, that is my breakfast a lot of time. A bunch of biscuits and nothing else. Of course, my cholesterol is up, but I don't care. I'm not missing out on my biscuits. Slap some gravy on them for biscuits and gravy, some hot coffee, and I'm in redneck heaven. I could eat biscuits 3 meals a day, and have them for a snack in between.
Those are my three staples of life. Those are my 5 food groups: beer, ice cream, butterscotch sauce, biscuits and butter. I'm not healthy, but I'm happy. Are you with your crap vegetarian diet?
Friday, March 26, 2010
25 Random Things: # 4
4. People think I talk to much, and I should shut up at times. They're right, but I don't care. People who knew me when I was young know how painfully shy I was and how hard it was for me to interact with people. I would take F's in school, so I didn't have to get up in front class and read a paper. I know how I was then, and I know how I am now. Yeah, I irritate people at times, but I will not be silent. I will never be that way again. Deal with it. I have.
Yeah, I'm kind of verbose, and tend to talk a little bit too much at times. Life goes on. When I was a kid, you couldn't have gotten me to talk. I was as shy as it's possible to be, and didn't think it would ever get better. Like most people, I had my moments, and could have a lot of fun and act up. But mostly I never did. Even at kids parties, I was the wallflower and wouldn't go talk to people I didn't know.
It was really bad in school, because it affected my grades. For some stupid reason, you have to do projects where you get up in front of the class and read it, or present it. That was a big problem for me, and I didn't like it. I would refuse to get up, or tell the teacher I hadn't done it, and take the failing grade. Failing was better than standing up in front of everyone.
There are a lot of reasons why I was like this, but I won't go into them. Mostly, it was a fear of failure or being laughed at. I don't know if that's the common reason, but it was mine. Suffice it to say, it was a problem. I would do anything I could to avoid being in front of a crowd. About the only thing where I didn't'have a problem with it was in sports. But I wasn't a good athlete, so it wasn't like I played a lot.
Of course, this didn't help when it came to meeting women. It was always a big problem, because I wouldn't approach a woman to ask her out. Now don't think I was entirely lonely all that time. I wasn't. I guess some women liked the shy act, even though it wasn't. It would just take the woman approaching me and then it was fine. If she was going to come talk to me, then she must have been interested.
This finally came to a head when I was stationed at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, during the time everything in Somalia kicked off. My job was going to require me to give presentations on the services we provided, and not just to soldiers. To the high-level commanders. And the spouses. If you've never had to brief a group of Army wives, you don't know what pressure is. You really don't.
I knew I had to get over it. To be clear, it wasn't fear of being up in front of a group of people. I had done that. It was being noticed by people I didn't know more than anything, and it wasn't fear, such as sweats and shaking and wanting to pass out. If I had to do it, I could. It just wasn't comfortable and I didn't like it. I always had the comfort level with people I knew, and think I was mostly okay socially in my own way. It was strangers I had a problem with. So now I was faced with a situation where I had to do it, and had no choice.
As luck would have it, I was fairly close to home, and would go back to Missouri on long weekends. I would stay with my good friend Layne, and we would hit every bar and party we could find. Layne is a performer (singer/actor/etc) and being the center of attention is his thing. Like Robin Williams, he is always performing. And I was the sidekick straight man.
So one night we went out, and Layne met up with a girl he was wanting to go out with, who was out with a friend of hers. We met up at the Legion dance (oh, the joys of small town living) and then went to Country Kitchen for breakfast. Layne, as usual, dominated the conversation and I kind of sat there. I figured these two pretty women weren't interested in anything I had to say, not while Layne was around. Eventually, one of them asked me something and I responded with a joke, or a one-liner or something, and they laughed.
Hey, good times. Further on through the evening, more questions to me, more funny lines, more laughter and all of a sudden I realized I could actually involve myself with people I didn't know, be funny, and the world didn't end. By the end of the night, I was carrying the conversation, the two girls were laughing and Layne was pissed because he wasn't the center of attention. He still hasn't gotten over it. That seems like a small breakthrough, but it was amazing. It showed me I could actually talk to people I didn't know and get up in front of people if I had to. I had a comfort level that I had never known before. It really was that simple.
So when it came time for the presentations, I aced them. I was funny, I was informative, I managed to deflect some tension from the subject and sent everyone home feeling better about what we could do for them. The Group Commander, who was in attendance, even sent me a hand-written note telling me how well I had done. Which was great, because it's not unusual to get a form letter with a signature, but this was an actual hand-written letter. I still have it.
Since then I've given countless presentations, attempted conversations in foreign languages, meet presidents and prime ministers, and have generally gotten over it. If I have to get up in front of a crowd now, it's no big deal. I'm still nervous about doing well, but not about being in front of people. I've actually helped write comedy shows for a friend, and have been asked to do stand-up routines by someone else. When it came to meetings, the people I worked for were confident enough to let me run the meetings with dignitaries. It's become easy.
However, on the flip side of things, now people think I tend to talk too much. Some people have told me that I never shut up, and I should back off a little more. They might be right. They probably are. It's hard to know where to draw the line between being involved or not involved. I don't think I have it figured out just yet. What I have figured out is that the way I am now is a lot more fun than the way I used to be. And I won't shut up, and I won't go back to the way it was. If people have a problem with that, they are more than free to tell me. They just have to realize I don't care.
Its not fun being that shy, and it isn't good for people to be that way. It can be lonely at times, and sometimes in a crowd of people. So people are going to have to deal with it. I've found my voice and I'm going to use it.
I refuse to be quiet any longer.
Yeah, I'm kind of verbose, and tend to talk a little bit too much at times. Life goes on. When I was a kid, you couldn't have gotten me to talk. I was as shy as it's possible to be, and didn't think it would ever get better. Like most people, I had my moments, and could have a lot of fun and act up. But mostly I never did. Even at kids parties, I was the wallflower and wouldn't go talk to people I didn't know.
It was really bad in school, because it affected my grades. For some stupid reason, you have to do projects where you get up in front of the class and read it, or present it. That was a big problem for me, and I didn't like it. I would refuse to get up, or tell the teacher I hadn't done it, and take the failing grade. Failing was better than standing up in front of everyone.
There are a lot of reasons why I was like this, but I won't go into them. Mostly, it was a fear of failure or being laughed at. I don't know if that's the common reason, but it was mine. Suffice it to say, it was a problem. I would do anything I could to avoid being in front of a crowd. About the only thing where I didn't'have a problem with it was in sports. But I wasn't a good athlete, so it wasn't like I played a lot.
Of course, this didn't help when it came to meeting women. It was always a big problem, because I wouldn't approach a woman to ask her out. Now don't think I was entirely lonely all that time. I wasn't. I guess some women liked the shy act, even though it wasn't. It would just take the woman approaching me and then it was fine. If she was going to come talk to me, then she must have been interested.
This finally came to a head when I was stationed at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, during the time everything in Somalia kicked off. My job was going to require me to give presentations on the services we provided, and not just to soldiers. To the high-level commanders. And the spouses. If you've never had to brief a group of Army wives, you don't know what pressure is. You really don't.
I knew I had to get over it. To be clear, it wasn't fear of being up in front of a group of people. I had done that. It was being noticed by people I didn't know more than anything, and it wasn't fear, such as sweats and shaking and wanting to pass out. If I had to do it, I could. It just wasn't comfortable and I didn't like it. I always had the comfort level with people I knew, and think I was mostly okay socially in my own way. It was strangers I had a problem with. So now I was faced with a situation where I had to do it, and had no choice.
As luck would have it, I was fairly close to home, and would go back to Missouri on long weekends. I would stay with my good friend Layne, and we would hit every bar and party we could find. Layne is a performer (singer/actor/etc) and being the center of attention is his thing. Like Robin Williams, he is always performing. And I was the sidekick straight man.
So one night we went out, and Layne met up with a girl he was wanting to go out with, who was out with a friend of hers. We met up at the Legion dance (oh, the joys of small town living) and then went to Country Kitchen for breakfast. Layne, as usual, dominated the conversation and I kind of sat there. I figured these two pretty women weren't interested in anything I had to say, not while Layne was around. Eventually, one of them asked me something and I responded with a joke, or a one-liner or something, and they laughed.
Hey, good times. Further on through the evening, more questions to me, more funny lines, more laughter and all of a sudden I realized I could actually involve myself with people I didn't know, be funny, and the world didn't end. By the end of the night, I was carrying the conversation, the two girls were laughing and Layne was pissed because he wasn't the center of attention. He still hasn't gotten over it. That seems like a small breakthrough, but it was amazing. It showed me I could actually talk to people I didn't know and get up in front of people if I had to. I had a comfort level that I had never known before. It really was that simple.
So when it came time for the presentations, I aced them. I was funny, I was informative, I managed to deflect some tension from the subject and sent everyone home feeling better about what we could do for them. The Group Commander, who was in attendance, even sent me a hand-written note telling me how well I had done. Which was great, because it's not unusual to get a form letter with a signature, but this was an actual hand-written letter. I still have it.
Since then I've given countless presentations, attempted conversations in foreign languages, meet presidents and prime ministers, and have generally gotten over it. If I have to get up in front of a crowd now, it's no big deal. I'm still nervous about doing well, but not about being in front of people. I've actually helped write comedy shows for a friend, and have been asked to do stand-up routines by someone else. When it came to meetings, the people I worked for were confident enough to let me run the meetings with dignitaries. It's become easy.
However, on the flip side of things, now people think I tend to talk too much. Some people have told me that I never shut up, and I should back off a little more. They might be right. They probably are. It's hard to know where to draw the line between being involved or not involved. I don't think I have it figured out just yet. What I have figured out is that the way I am now is a lot more fun than the way I used to be. And I won't shut up, and I won't go back to the way it was. If people have a problem with that, they are more than free to tell me. They just have to realize I don't care.
Its not fun being that shy, and it isn't good for people to be that way. It can be lonely at times, and sometimes in a crowd of people. So people are going to have to deal with it. I've found my voice and I'm going to use it.
I refuse to be quiet any longer.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Is this discrimination?
One of the things I had to do to get my residency visa was to take a Life in the UK test. It is a 20-question test about the history, politics, religion, local living, etc, of living here in the country.
The reason for the test, straight form the website:
1. The Making of the United Kingdom
2. A Changing Society
3. UK Today,: A Profile
4. How the United Kingdom is Governed
5. Everyday Needs
6. Employment
7. Knowing the Law
8. Sources of Help and Information
9. Building Better Communities
I got 24 or 25 right out of 25, so the test wasn't that hard. I did a lot of studying, read the study guide about a dozen times, and took about 30 practice tests. I guess it worked.
That's all well and good, but one of the things I wanted to bring up that I learned while studying the test:
In a country as obsessed with political correctness as the United Kingdom, I was surprised to see this. I mean, you can't look cross-eyed at someone here without a complaint being made, the government getting involved, celebrities marching against it, and overreactions that make a nuclear war look tame by comparison.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating discrimination. Not in the least. It's wrong, and shouldn't be allowed. But I think this makes sense. In your own home, you should be able to do what you want (within reason and law). And that includes who you let into your own home. If you don't want someone in your house, you shouldn't have to let them in.
From the opposite side, this makes sense also. Why would you want to work for someone who obviously doesn't like you because of 'whatever'. If they are that irrational that your difference makes them uncomfortable, you wouldn't be happy working there. Might as well not even start.
What's funny, is that this wouldn't be allowed in the United States.You couldn't even have this on the books. There is no way the ALCU would allow this. They would rather force a person to accept someone into their home, even if causes problems.
So, while discrimination is, and should be, illegal, there is a measure of common sense allowed. So what are the opinions of the people reading? For, against, or no opinion?
The reason for the test, straight form the website:
A pass in the test fulfils the requirements for "sufficient knowledge of life in the United Kingdom" which were introduced for naturalisation on 1 November 2005 [1] and which were introduced for settlement on 2 April 2007 [2]. It simultaneously fulfils the language requirement by demonstrating "a sufficient knowledge" of the English language.So there are a lot of different questions, in the following categories:
1. The Making of the United Kingdom
2. A Changing Society
3. UK Today,: A Profile
4. How the United Kingdom is Governed
5. Everyday Needs
6. Employment
7. Knowing the Law
8. Sources of Help and Information
9. Building Better Communities
I got 24 or 25 right out of 25, so the test wasn't that hard. I did a lot of studying, read the study guide about a dozen times, and took about 30 practice tests. I guess it worked.
That's all well and good, but one of the things I wanted to bring up that I learned while studying the test:
The law also says that men and women who do the same job, or work of equal value, should receive equal pay. Almost all the laws protecting people at work apply equally to people doing part-time or full-time work.Now, that's all well and good. No issues there at all. It's a good idea, and the way things should be. This is what got my notice, however:
In a country as obsessed with political correctness as the United Kingdom, I was surprised to see this. I mean, you can't look cross-eyed at someone here without a complaint being made, the government getting involved, celebrities marching against it, and overreactions that make a nuclear war look tame by comparison.
There are, however, a small number of jobs where discrimination laws do not apply. For example, discrimination is not against the law when the job involves working for someone in their own home.Add in that fact that the UK is one of the most diversified countries in the world, and you wouldn't expect this kind of thing at all. Fortunately, they don't do the lawsuit thing here and sue everyone left and right, but they don't let it go. Its an amazing case of common sense in a world gone mad.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating discrimination. Not in the least. It's wrong, and shouldn't be allowed. But I think this makes sense. In your own home, you should be able to do what you want (within reason and law). And that includes who you let into your own home. If you don't want someone in your house, you shouldn't have to let them in.
From the opposite side, this makes sense also. Why would you want to work for someone who obviously doesn't like you because of 'whatever'. If they are that irrational that your difference makes them uncomfortable, you wouldn't be happy working there. Might as well not even start.
What's funny, is that this wouldn't be allowed in the United States.You couldn't even have this on the books. There is no way the ALCU would allow this. They would rather force a person to accept someone into their home, even if causes problems.
So, while discrimination is, and should be, illegal, there is a measure of common sense allowed. So what are the opinions of the people reading? For, against, or no opinion?
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